I was able to get myself over to Mass today. I mean, I really have zero excuse for not doing so, especially during the easy, lulling pace of vacation. Now I don’t normally blog about things specific to my religious beliefs – my faith is something intensely personal to me, so I am not one to chit-chat all that much on it. Also, religion is just one of those obvious topics that invite a lot of divisive debate and that’s just not my bag, baby.
However, I had a moment during Mass at St. George Catholic Church in beeyooootiful St. George, Utah that I wanted to share because I find it incredibly instructive on the effects of change upon how the human mind works (or at least my mind).
The Catholic Church has made some recent changes to certain portions of the Mass, specifically the language of both responses from the congregation during the service and some of the words of the Nicene Creed. I’m not 100% sure on all of the rhyme and reason behind the changes, but they’ve certainly been noticeable to me as I stumble through parts of Mass that have been akin to muscle-memory to me over the years.
But here’s where I came to a couple of notable of insights on myself that have more to do with how I am wired and less to do with the particulars of the Catholic Mass:
1) I might be a lot more resistant to change than I sometimes realize… even in those areas where change can actually be somewhat refreshing.
Seriously. When I first came upon these changes to the very familiar portions of the service, the only feeling that came to mind was pure annoyance. “Wait… what the… they’re changing the words?!?!? Why the heck are they doing that? I mean… seriously… what was wrong with the ones they had before??? This is just ridiculous…” I was a little dumbfounded by the whole thing – Were the old words wrong somehow? What’s the benefit of the new words?
Then out of no where… it’s like I was able to step back from myself and see my reaction with a little bit of distance. At that moment, I realized I sounded like the crotchety old coot who yells at teenagers for their rock-n-roll and fast cars and crazy parties. It was fairly ridiculous.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not say that observation completely changed me in an instant, but hoo boy… talk about an ugly slice of self-realization. I love to say how I’m close to 40, but think of myself as younger than that. Maybe there are parts of me that are aging faster and more curmudgeonly than I like.
But this also allowed me to see a positive, which brings us to observation #2 my friends…
2) Forced change can be good if it breaks you from mindless rote.
As someone who has been going to Mass for his entire life, a lot of the prayers and responses are things I can pop out without much effort. It’s as if a part of my brain responsible for these nuggets of knowledge engage at the proper times and just… well… go. The words flow without much effort and I can actually thing about something completely different as each word is uttered and not miss a single beat.
And that’s a problem.
The new text forced me to stop, read what was being said and actually pay some damn attention to it (shock of shocks!). Who knows how long I would have likely been in that auto-pilot mode for? I do have a lot of moments of quiet reflection during the course of my church attendance, but it’s a little disappointing to think I would say words without at least giving some thought to them occasionally.
You win again, change. Well-played my most-worthy adversary. Until we meet again, as we inevitably will. May I humbly accept the lesson and embrace you a little more in the future. You are like my mental broccoli – good for me, but takes a little while to fully accept as both healthy and delicious.
Yeah… mental broccoli. I like it.